


Swear Words and Coffee

by Sky_Astor



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, My First Fanfic, POV First Person, Rated M for Swearing, Romance, Sadness, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 13:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4022254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sky_Astor/pseuds/Sky_Astor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malcolm Tucker's assistant (Reader in first person) is deeply in love with him, but he doesn't know it. Will she tell him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic and I had great fun writing it. I know these Character/Reader fics are usually written is second person, but it seemed a little weird to me - at that time when I was writing this.  
> I hope first person is not that bad for you. :)
> 
> Have fun!

Each morning I woke up with him on my mind and pain in my heart.

Well, each morning I woke up with him on my mind' is a bit overdone because this statement may give the impression that I slept like a baby at home every night, which wasn’t true. The thing is; I was busy. But yes, when I did sleep, I woke up with him on my mind.

 _He_ was always on my mind. And so was the pain in my heart.

I was the assistant of a powerful man. Tucker was his name. Malcolm Tucker. He was the Director of Communications for the government. He was 46 years old, Scottish, taller than me, quite aggressive and feared - he shouted a lot and swore 24/7. And yes, people did actually fear him. I didn’t blame them… However, he’d always been polite to me and that made me feel very privileged.

I’ve done lots different stuff for him - got him coffee, carried his stuff – bag and documents, so he had free hands to wave around heatedly when he gave someone a bollocking. Sometimes I thought he would even hit someone, but he never did that. He wasn’t a brute and preferred mental bullying. I also reminded him of things he had to do (at whom he had to shout etc.), distracted others when I was ordered to do so… I just did whatever he wanted me to do.

 _He_ was the man on my mind, and he pain in my heart because I knew we would never be a thing. We probably wouldn't go together. He was 46 and I was 25. And the way he behaved, talked… I didn't even know him that much. Besides, did he even get lonely? Did he fancy me? I really couldn't read him. The only thing I could really tell was that he loved his job. He seemed to be full of energy at work all the time. Sometimes he was even really happy and smiled brightly which made me happy too. He worked all the time, did everything for his party - at day and night.

And I was almost always around. Lucky me.

I don't even know how I became his assistant. There was no selection procedure or something like that. I was just a secretary at DoSAC and one day he stormed into our office, swore at some guy and wanted coffee, so I went to get it, thinking it would calm him down a bit.

Very soon, I couldn't take my eyes off him when he was around. Every day I hoped that he would come to our office. He seemed really attractive to me. He was powerful, the alpha-male… I wondered if was like that in private too.

Always when he came to us, I brought him coffee of my own free will. I just wanted him to notice me, look at me for those 5 seconds and hear his ‘thanks’ when I handed him the drink. I wanted to see him more often but I didn’t know how to do it. And I'm not that kind of person who inflicts herself on someone. (Even if I had done that he'd probably tell me to fuck off.)

However, one day he asked me if I could deliver a message to Hugh, who wasn't in the building at that time. He stood so close to me that I shivered, he whispered in a deadly tone and his hot breath was embracing my ear. Malcolm really stressed that this message was just for Hugh. My mind was filled with happiness as if someone had just told that I was going on holiday.

Luckily for me, this wasn't just a one-time thing. He started asking me to deliver messages (little threats), documents and to get him coffee more and more often until he offered me to be his assistant. He probably sensed that I'm loyal, keep things to myself, don't do gossip… I was so pleased and I genuinely couldn't believe it.

When I finally became his assistant, he used to send me home early despite him working non-stop. Soon I realised that this wasn't what I wanted. I felt so empty without him. I just couldn't stand it. I wanted to be around, help him… even if it just meant to get him coffee, tangerines or whatever he desired at 11pm.

One day he sent me home in the evening. I didn't want to disoblige, so I just did as he said. When I was at the main door I stopped – I just didn't want to go. I went back to his office. I was worried that he would shout at me, but I needn't to. He never shouted at me and I took much pride in that. It made me think he liked me. However, you could never tell what he really thought…

He shouted at me only when he wanted me to come to him - when I was in another room or somewhere else but with him.

“Did you forget something?” he asked, doing his paperwork when I came back.

“Uh…No…Not really,” I stuttered. His eyes looked up at me from behind his glasses, in which he looked truly gorgeous.

I continued, “I just wondered if you need any help…with… anything.”

“No,” he smirked. “Go home and have some fucking sleep, darling.”

“Well… And if I'd like to stay here with you?” I asked shyly, feeling really stupid.

He cocked an eyebrow.

_Damn_

“Ye're fucking impossible,” he smiled. He seemed to be in a good mood, which was great. It made me happy when I could see him like that.

“You can stay here if you want, I won't fucking kick ye outta the window but don't ye want to go back to your flat and have a rest?”

“Well, my flat is in the suburb of London, anyway, so it would take quite a while to get there and –"

He cut me off, “you just want to stay, right?”

“Uhm, yep,” I blushed.

He let out a little laugh, shook his head and continued his work.

“Once you're here, you can get me some fucking coffee, then.”

“My pleasure, Malcolm.”

“Thanks, darling,” he said with a smile, “I'm glad you're here with me. You make the stay in this fucking asylum really more pleasant.”

“And vice versa,” I replied joyfully.

He bit his lower lip and smiled in amusement. As soon as I was out of his office and behind the corner where he couldn't see me, I beamed brightly like an idiot.

That kind of nights started to happen more often. Not returning home, coffee, a little chat, me sometimes falling asleep in his office. Even he fell sometimes asleep while he was working. Well, rarely. When he did, it was my greatest pleasure to wake him up.

Becoming his assistant was the best thing that had ever happened to me although it had sometimes hurt - Very, very much. I was madly in love with him and I couldn't tell him. I just didn't dare. I could destroy everything by telling him and I couldn't put that to risk.

He seemed to like me, he trusted me, he wasn't rude to me… and it's Malcolm Tucker whom I talk about. I couldn't have asked for more.

We've made quite the team.


	2. Chapter 2

"It doesn't matter."

He had said this in front of all those cameras and journalists before his driver took us to his home. It was late afternoon, Wednesday.

He had to resign. He already knew he was finished during the Goolding inquiry and he just wanted to leave with dignity. He would have if Ollie hadn't given the journalists a ring. He pushed him off the cliff. That was pure humiliation.

And they didn't care. After all the things he'd done for them - for his party. He didn't matter to them. Nothing he'd ever done mattered.

They just didn't give a fuck.

I was sitting right next to him with a coffee in my hand. He was staring out of the window; his eyes were filled with sadness and bitterness as they watched the buildings passing by. He sighed deeply, turned to me, wrapped his arms around my left arm and rested his head on my shoulder. I froze and my heart picked up a little o its speed – he’d never done anything like this before. I decided to play it cool and just relax, but somehow I couldn't resist laying my head on his. I felt so sorry for him. I offered him the half-empty coffee – he took it but drunk just a bit and returned it to me. He slowly looked up at me. Those piercing blue eyes were looking right through me. I wanted to make him feel better, but I didn't know how. I slowly opened my mouth… and closed it again. I lost myself in that mesmerizing blue.

"Don't know what to say? I don't fucking know either." He said quietly and returned his head to my shoulder.

"Fuck those cunts." He added in a husky voice, closing his eyes.

I just wanted to kiss him, but I didn't dare to do so. Instead of that I placed just a gentle kiss on his head. He opened his eyes again, looked into mine and smiled softly.

"Thank you, love," he spoke softly.

"What for?"

"Are you joking now? For fucking everything. For having been so loyal and nice to me. You're the only one who gave and still gives a fuck. I'm sure I was a prick even to you sometimes-"

"You've never been to me, Malc," I cut him off and smiled at him.

 _I love you_.  _Simple, right?_   _When if not now?_

My career as his assistant was over. I could tell him because I had nothing to lose. Not this time.

He was looking at me and I took all my courage, leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth. Just a brief kiss but it was utterly enough to put half of my brain out of service.

"I love you, Malcolm," I didn't move away.

He looked back at me, surprised and astonished. He remained silent and I started to worry.

"You love me?" he raised one eyebrow and I heard the surprise in his voice.

"Yeah, I do. Always did," I replied shyly.

He was just staring at me as if  I was bananas. I could feel I was slowly falling apart inside and I did everything to keep myself together.

Then I turned my head away from him.

"Sorry," I said quietly. My hands were slightly shaking.

He sat up properly, put his hand on my cheek and turned my face back to him.

"Don't ye dare," he started. His voice was a bit teary as he spoke.

"Don't ye fucking dare to apologize for that," he whispered.

I smiled a little, but I felt that my eyes were filling up with tears. He noticed and caressed my cheek with his thumb as his face came a little closer to mine.

"How can someone like you fall in love with such a mad fucker like me?'' he said with a faint smile and I could see the disbelief in his eyes.

"I'm not that sane myself, you know," I joked. He let out a little laugh and shook his head.

"I just think you're the most interesting and handsome man I've ever met."

My skin burned under his touch and I felt the blush on my cheeks.

He tilted his head and a little smile on appeared on his beautiful face.

"Yeah, ye can't be fucking sane," he said as he closed the distance between us and our lips met. The warmth of his soft lips sent a shiver down my spine. He tasted of coffee and I smelled his cologne. I took his hand, which was resting on my cheek, and I put it in mine. My second hand rested on his chest, which allowed me to feel the beating of his heart. The kiss was slow and gentle and didn’t last very long. I rested my forehead against his and we gazed into each other's eyes. Then I closed mine and smiled. Malcolm chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"You've no idea what you do to me," I whispered, not looking up at him.

"No, not really. But you do things to me too, you know," he replied playfully. ''I've simply never thought you'd fucking fancy me and return my feelings."

I removed my glasses and I rubbed my eyes, "I've been thinking the same thing for the last two years."

"Jesus fucking Christ," came his reply as he scratched his head.

This was so surreal.

"Hey, why don't ye come in when we arrive at my place? You could stay for a while, we could have some tea, a wee chat… How does that sound?" he asked and tried to sound happier than he probably was.

"Yeah. That would be great."

"Fucking perfect," a smile accompanied his reply.

I didn't know if he really was happier or if he was just pretending. He seemed less devastated for sure. I wondered when was the last time somebody kissed him. Or told him that he was beautiful. Had anyone even ever told him that?

xxxxx

We put our jackets on the pegs and he also his long coat which I really liked – he looked dashing in it. Our boots remained on the carpet. I wore a sort of grey trouser suit (as always) because I felt uncomfortable in a skirt. And the suit was better for moving, anyway. That day I had my waistcoat on – I adore them. Pity Malcolm didn't wear them, though. I bet he'd look extremely hot.

His house was really nice. He had a wonderful living room – comfy sofa, coffee table, big screen Tv, some nice shelving units with a few books, statuettes, and other things. All his furniture was dark brown, almost black. I really loved that. I hate it when a room's too light. There was another table in the kitchen with a vase that contained faded flowers – no wonder; he was at work all the time.

I went to the kitchen with him.

"Coffee or tea?" Malcolm asked with his back turned to me while he was preparing cups.

"Tea, please. I think we're over-coffeed by now, don't you think?"

He turned around and smiled at me.

"Yeah, we probably are. I've been pissing coffee for the last half year."

I chuckled and shook my head in amusement.

His swearing - one could say it was nasty, repulsive, disgusting or whatever. Nevertheless, from the beginning I just didn't mind him swearing – I actually kind of started to love it. His favourite swear word was probably 'fuck' or 'fucking'. One could hear it thousand times a day.

"Tea shall be it. Okay. Wait in the living room. I'll join you in a minute." He turned back to the cups.

"As you wish, handsome."

"Stop teasing me! I’m not Johnny fucking Depp" he replied playfully and looked at me from the corner of his eye.

He was to me.

I grinned at him and made my way to the living room. I sat down on the left side of the sofa, put one of the two pillows behind my back, rested my head on the backrest and I closed my eyes. It was as comfy as it looked. Soon I was joined by Malcolm and the lovely smelling tea he made.

"Thanks," I said quietly, not moving my head.

"No problem."

He placed the two cups of the hot beverage on the dark brown coffee table in front of us and sat down right beside me. He turned to me, placed his right hand on my hip and gently kissed my neck.

"You smell nice," he whispered.

He continued his sweet kisses up to my jaw. I lifted my head and smiled at him. I gave him a quick kiss and handed us our drinks.

"How are you, Malc?" I asked him as I drank my tea.

He cocked his eyebrow, "Are you concerned?"

"Of course, Mr. Tucker," I smiled at him sweetly and nuzzled his nose.

"Well, I'm pissed off, disappointed and sad. Ollie that prick. No fucking dignity, just bitterness," He sighed and drunk his tea.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

Malcolm looked at me, "You've already made me feel better, sweetheart."

His response and smile sent a sweet feeling through my body.

"I'll be right back," he said as he stood up, "I'll just slip into something more comfortable."

I nodded and continued sipping my tea.

"Ye mind if I turn the radio on?" he asked.

"No, of course not. G ahead."

And there I sat - in Malcolm Tucker's living room, drinking tea. I didn't know how to cope with this sudden happiness that kind of overwhelmed me. And I was happy that I could distract him from the pain he felt inside.


	3. Chapter 3

When Malcolm came back, he was wearing a fleece sweater. He turned the radio on and he sat back next to me when a lovely song came on…

_Nobody knows it, but you've got a secret smile_

_And you use it only for me_

_Nobody knows it, but you've got a secret smile_

_And you use it only for me_

 

_So use it and prove it_

_Remove this whirling sadness_

_I'm losing, I'm bluesing_

_But you can save me from madness_

"You suddenly look so different. I'm used to seeing you in a suit all the time, you know. You look great."

He smirked and finished his tea, "Thanks. And I'm so not used to getting compliments on the way I look. Guess I'll have to get used to it now from ye, ey?"

I chuckled and emptied my cup too. Malcolm rested his head on the backrest of his sofa and yawned.

"I'm fucking tired."

I could hear it in his voice and ran my fingers through his fluffy dark grey hair.

"Lie down," I dared to order him.

He looked at me and did so. In a moment, he was lying on the sofa with a pillow under his head and me on his side. My back was against the backrest. Our head were just inches apart and he yawned again.

"Finally, you can get some proper rest and sleep ‘cause you don't have to work 24/7 now."

He let out an approving hum.

I came closer and kissed him. One of my hands rested on his chest, my other hand was stroking his hair. His tongue impatiently slipped between my lips, found mine and he gently cupped my face and held my head in place. He deepened the kiss and I slid my hand under his fleece and untucked his T-shirt. A moan escaped his slightly swollen lips when my fingers touched his skin.

My lips curled into a grin when we parted due to the lack of air. I kept on stroking his belly and chest under his clothes, feeling a smattering of short and coarse chest hair, which was covering the area between his pecs and on his abdomen. His eyes were ablaze and my heart was pounding fast against my chest.

"May I ask you something?" I started.

"Yea, sure."

_God how I adore that Scottish accent._

"When was the last time you had a girlfriend?" I looked at him.

He cocked an eyebrow in amusement.

"Well… I mean – I heard you saying to Ollie that you sacrificed all your life for the party and that you worked non-stop," I explained while starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

"I had a girlfriend long ago, but it didn't work so great between us."

"Oh. Sorry. I shouldn't have asked you such a stupid question."

He ran his fingers through my hair.

"It's fucking fine, darling. Don't worry. You're just a wee curious about me, that's perfectly okay," he assured me.

I nodded, a bit embarrassed.

I bit my lower lip and continued, ''Actually… I wanted to ask you if you could take this lovely fleece of?" I asked shyly.

He let out a little laugh, removed it and placed it on the ground. He was wearing a long-sleeved dark grey polo shirt.

"Gorgeous," I whispered and returned my head to his chest.

"Oh, fucking stop it!" he said playfully. I could feel his chest vibrates as he spoke, "you are the one who is gorgeous here. Very, very beautiful, you are," he added.

"Thank you," I mumbled against his chest.

"Not at all, darling.” He paused and his voice caught a more quiet tone, “But hey, you really want me? I'm fucking old… I mean, you could surely have a much better-looking man of your age.''

His words made me smile. He didn’t believe that I fancied him like mad.

I had to explain, ''I've always been attracted to older men, you know. I've never had any interest in men of my age. Never. They've all seemed the same to me. The same behaviour, stupid puns et cetera. You're a little bit older than me, so what? I love you, Malcolm. I truly do.''

"A wee bit older? You know I'm fucking 48, yeah?"

"Of course I do. You can die your hair if you want to look younger," I giggled.

"You cheeky fucker, you," he grinned.

He pulled me up to him, so we shared the position like before. His dreamy blue eyes were filled with love, just as mine.

''Hey, handsome, I mean it. You may be older, swear like mad and whatever but I don't care. I don't give a shit about your anger, swearing, age, the lines on your face… - on the contrary – I like it. I love you. Everything about you – your voice, accent, smile, elegant movements and I could go on for a while. You're very attractive to me, Malcolm," I said softly. "You're absolutely gorgeous,'' I whispered in his ear.

"Thanks, sweetheart. I appreciate this. I've always loved and adored you."

He gave me a soft kiss and I smiled in response.

His blue eyes with a hint of green travelled across my face until he closed them – one could really see he was tired. Little red and violet veins were visible on his closed eyelids and eye bags under his eyes weren't missing.

"What are you going to do now? After you career as enforcer’s assistant?'' he asked as his fingers were tracing along my collarbone, his second hand was under his head.

"Well, I'm actually an English and German teacher, so I'll see if I can find a job at some school.”

"Interesting, I didn't even know you're a teacher. However, I couldn't teach… I'd probably kill those little fuckers if they pissed me off."

"And what about you?"

"I've worked at newspapers once. I'll try my luck there for now."

"Nice. I'm sure you'll find a job there."

I gently tucked his polo shirt up just enough to see his little belly. I watched my hand as I traced my fingertips along his sensitive skin and fiddled with the smattering of chest hair that was resting there. Malcolm bit his lower lip and purred like a satisfied kitten which was probably the sexiest thing I've ever heard.

I kissed his eyebrow, nose and finally I captured his lips. He gently sucked on my lower lip while his hands were exploring my hot skin under my clothes. His tongue played with mine and time seemed to stay still – I was completely overwhelmed by all the feeling and arousal. Our long, drugging kiss was over when I slowly pulled away. His lips were swollen and pink as he gave me a devilish grin.

"That was fucking belter," his voice was deep.

''I'm not exactly sure what belter means, sweetie. I love your accent, by the way'' I grinned at him back.

''Fucking fantastic.''

''So it was fucking, fucking fantastic?'' I asked jokingly, although knowing it was a stupid pun,

''I couldn't agree more,'' I added.

He locked his eyes onto mine green ones, placed his hand my cheek and stroked it with his thumb and I could feel my skin burning under his touch. He brought my head to his and nuzzled my nose. I run my fingers through his hair and stroked the back of his head. He let go of me, adjusted the pillow under his head, yawned and rubbed his tired eyes.

''We could go and have dinner at my favourite restaurant in the evening. What do you say, sweetheart?''

''That would be brilliant.''

He smiled at me softly and I told him to close his eyes and finally have some rest after those mentally and physically exhausting years. He rarely went home, didn't sleep much… for how many years again? I accompanied him only the last 2 years – and it was devastating. He was the only thing that kept me sane there.

I placed tender kisses along his jaw and then I moved lower to nibble at his neck. A quiet moan escaped his mouth when I bit harder. He swung both of his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. It was like his exhaustion was infectious. All the rest of my energy seemed to disappear and all I could do was to close my eyes. We were lying there together – me on top of him with my nose buried in his neck.

''Hey, I love you too, sweetheart,'' Malcolm whispered in my hair while he was drawing little circles on my back with his fingers and I felt the warmth flowing through my body.

I gently kissed his neck and smiled against it. I enjoyed the fading smell of his cologne accompanied by the intoxicating scent of him.

''What do you think is happening at our ex-party now?'' I asked.

''They're probably running around like headless chickens, full of stress, arguing, blaming each other for shit, fucking things up like usual.''

''I'd pay good money to see that.''

''Yeah, me too. Can you imagine Ollie that ponce as the new Director of Communications? That twat's gonna a be a fucking joke.''

There was a slight pause before he continued in a lower tone: ''I loved my job and our party… I just didn't expect they wouldn't give the slightest of fucks about me after all I had done for them.'' There was a bit of sadness in his voice, which made my heart twitch.

''Malc, I know it's hard for you now… But don't be disappointed or sad because of those arseholes. One day, every one of them will know how you felt – almost every one of them will have to go one day, resign or whatever… they'll feel the bitterness themselves. No one will give a damn. And, by the way, they didn't even deserve such a brill director of communications like you.''

''Maybe you're right. I fucking gave them 20 years of my life. Oh well…''

He cared, at least a bit. It must have been awful for him – being kicked out of the ship after so long. I sighed deeply and opened my eyes. The empty cups on the table were in my view.

''Yeah. That's how it goes, I guess… How about another cuppa, love?'' I asked.

''Why not.''

We got up and I followed him to the kitchen.

''Any special wishes?'' He asked.

''Well... Have you got one with apple flavour.''

''Aye.''

He put the kettle on and I leaned against the kitchen frame, right next to him.

''You look like you want to say something. Is everything okay?'' His eyes examined me thoroughly. Concerned Malcolm – that was new to me. He was so different in private and it was an honour to know his other side.

''No, no, I'm fine but-''

''Come on, spit it out, dear.''

''Well, my 'confession' in the car - it wasn't really appropriate, was it? The timing, I mean. I should have waited for a better occasion.''

Malcolm smiled slightly and shook his head. He wrapped his arms around my waist and stroked my back gently. I placed my hands on his chest and blushed a little.

''A better occasion? You haven't said anything and you've worked 2 fucking years for me.'' He spoke softly and I looked up back at him. ''If you hadn't said it today, you would never have done it. _Our_ era would have ended. Trust me – it was a fucking good occasion. You cheered  up when I needed it the most.'' His soft words made my heart flutter. We smiled at each other and he kissed my forehead.

''If you had kept your mouth shut, I would probably just sit here, stare at the fucking wall and drink.''

He traced his fingers along my collar bone to my V-neckline that revealed a bit of my skin, where his long index finger drew little lines on my chest.

''But you could have said something too.''

Malcolm watched his finger and shook his head softly.

''No, I really couldn't. I fancied you, wanted you close but that was it. As I said - I've never thought you would fancy me. I'm fucking 20 years older than you and definitely not a guy who women of your age would dream of.''

''It's 21 years, handsome.''

“Oh, that’s fucking great,” he chuckled

''No but seriously, thank you''

He bent down to kiss me and his body was pressing mine against the kitchen frame. Our kiss was interrupted by the kettle which signalised that the water was ready and I immediately missed his lips.

We went back and sat down when Malcolm's phone rang. He answered it and frowned. Despite the swearing, he spoke quite calmly. The short call ended with an annoyed 'yeah, yeah'.

''That was Ollie – their new dickrector of cockmmunications. We'll have to go back to the fuck office today to collect my stuff.''

''Okay.'' I nodded.

He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. I put my arm behind his back and my second rested on his chest.

''I'd say we’ll go there right after we finish our tea and when we come back, we could to the restaurant dinner I mentioned earlier – it's not far, we could walk.''

''Yeah, sounds great.''

''We’ll have a nice evening together,'' His hot breath on my skin sent a shiver through my body. I smiled and my cheeks blushed slightly.

I looked up at him, ''I'm certainly looking forward to that.''

He cracked a smile kissed me gently.

I put my head on his shoulder, he kissed my hair and rested his head on mine.

I actually couldn't wait till we get back to the 'fuck office' like the king and queen of the world, like we don't a give a shit. That was the plan. And then? A perfect evening would await us.

And who knows? Maybe we'll be back one day… when everything is swept under a new thick carpet of new cock-ups.

Or maybe we won’t.


	4. Epilogue (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This epilogue was added later because some lovely people wanted to read some more. :)

*One year later*

I remember leaving DoSAC for the last time like it was only a week ago. When they stole the ground from under Malcolm’s feet and let him fall. And I? I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach over and over again. I had nothing to lose, so I confessed my love to him. It seemed like I brought a little light back into his life.

There was a trial after he had to go - he was cleaned off of all the charges, which was an immense relief because they didn’t have enough proof. He had to lie down and sing small and hope the people would forget about him. He wanted to get a job in the newspapers, but I told him it would be better if he waited until things calm down a bit – he agreed because he knew he would be chased around by stupid journalist and he would be in the papers even more than he already was. 

I started teaching at a grammar school and he stayed at home for a while – in a safe cave locked from the eyes of pigs that take great delight in the misfortune of others.

It didn’t take long and after about seven days after the sack he started turning into quite a mess. Malcolm started drinking a lot, smoking and I’d even say he suffered from depressions, but he refused to see any doctors. He went to pieces. He didn’t expect that they would push him off the cliff just like that - after all he had done for the party. Yes, he often had to be cruel to achieve certain things but that was part of the job, which he loved dearly. He was broken and betrayed and it tore my heart to see that.

And the department kept on working like if not had happened.

xxxxx

_I woke up and looked at the clock – 1:30 AM. Malcolm was not in bed, so I went looking for him. I went down the stairs and saw that the light in the corridor was on and the main door slightly open. I stepped outside and found him sitting on the doorsteps smoking. I put a hand on his shoulder and he turned around to see me._

_“Hey, what are you not in bed,” I said softly._

_“I couldn’t sleep. Probably the impact of not sleeping, drinking gallons of coffee and energy drinks for the past twenty years at the fuck office,” he signed and took a drag on his cigarette._

_I sat down next to him, placed a kiss behind his ear and took the cigarette from him to take a drag too. I usually didn’t smoke but sometimes I just couldn’t resist. Even though, my lungs weren’t quite healthy…_

_“And together with all the recent events...”I put my hand on his knee and squeezed it gently._

_“Exactly.”_

_“I don’t get why ye’re still with me and putting up with my shit,” he said and his blue/green eyes looked at me sincerely._

_“Because I love you,” I replied and caressed his cheek._

_Again, he started his speech as he sometimes did - that I could have a much better, younger man etc. I kissed him gently and reassured him that he means the world to me._

_He gave me a faint smile, took the cigarette and finished it._

_“Come back up,” I pleaded._

_We returned to his bedroom and lay down on the bed that turned cold because of our absence. I supported my head on my hand and looked down at his beautiful face. My other hand was caressing his cheek and I felt how relaxed into it. I massaged his temple and enjoyed the soft silver hair between my fingers._

_He grabbed my collar gently and pulled me down for a soft kiss._

_“I love ye too, sweetheart,” he whispered._

_I kept on stroking his hair till he fell asleep._

xxxxx

At first, it was not easy for him - not at all. However, the journalists found new preys soon and left him be. Things were swept under the carpet due to, or more likely thanks to new cock-ups and scandals in politics and other important or less important news. Soon, there were simply more interesting things that the sacked Malcolm Tucker.

He found a job at a local newspaper. It wasn’t a win in the lottery – especially not for him because he wasn’t used to getting bossed around but he could cope with that. He was glad he could work again instead of sitting at home and waiting till a journalist in disguise comes knocking at the door.

We saw each other every day – mostly in the evening. We usually snuggled on the couch while watching TV, went to the pub or just for a walk.

He was very different in private than how I knew at our ex-workplace. He let his walls down and showed me his other side - he was so caring, loving, treated me like his queen, wanted to be kissed and hugged. He swore less though the word _fuck_ kept its place in most of his sentences. And as for the clothes – the Paul Smith suits remained in the wardrobe, dust falling on them. He wore casual clothes and at home sweatpants with a T-Shirt. At first, it was entering another world.

I really put an effort in making him feel loved. I tried to sew up his broken heart and to caress his hurt soul.

Over the time his condition got better – his sleep was untroubled for most of the nights, he stopped getting sloshed for no reason when I was absent and he cut down on smoking too.

xxxxx

It was only a week ago when he got a call during our evening visit to a pub. He didn’t say much and his eyebrows drew together. He seemed a little confused.

“Are you taking the piss?” he asked quite angry.

He ended the call with _‘I’ll you call back’_.

He started, “They’ve just fucking offered me a job at DoSAC – director of communications for the fucking department.”

“What?!” I nearly choked on my drink but couldn’t hide the amusement. Some sort of happiness filled me, mixed with excitement and a little fear.

“Yeah. They’ve said that the Oxbridge-cunt Ollie was quite a fail as the director for the government when the situation got more difficult two months ago, so they kicked him back to DoSAC and he’s been the director of communications for the department ‘cause everyone else was even more shite than him.”

I laughed, “That’s possible?”.

I felt like a ten year girl going to a funfair.

“I’m glad ye’re having fun, lass,” he uttered with a grin.

“Don’t tell me you’re not, Mister Tucker,” I said playfully and he gave me devilish smile in response before I continued, “He deserves at least this if nothing else.”

“He deserves a kick in his fucking bollocks,” Malcolm proclaimed.

There was something in the air that made my heart flutter and curl inside. Maybe it was his beautiful smile. Or was it the sudden excitement that came with the call?

“So,” I began and he cocked an eyebrow and noticed the spark in his ocean-blue eyes, “shall wereturn to the thick of it?”

“Ye want to?”

“The main question is if _you_ want to, love… But judging by the look on your face I’d you do,” I teased him.

He leaned over the table and his tone was husky, “Well, I’d fucking lie if I said I don’t.”

His smile made my heart flutter and I couldn’t resist him being so close, so I leaned forward too and kissed his soft lips briefly.

He gave me a loving look but then his eyes flickered elsewhere, back to me and then again away, frowning.

“Oi! What are ye gawking at you twat!” he raised his voice and made the V sign gesture - with the back of his hand facing the viewer who sat somewhere in the room behind me.

“Malc!” I whispered and giggled. He hated it when someone was watching us – or me. Because of the age difference, his occasional loud swearing or whatever reason it was. It was quite annoying – like if people couldn’t mind their own business.

“So, Ollie is temporarily at Terri’s place now?” I asked, getting his attention back to me.

“She’s left and they’ve seen it as a good chance to cut Ollie’s wings a wee bit – he couldn’t fucking fly anyway. After the scandal I can’t return to my ex-post, so they’ve offered me this.”

I shrugged, “Well, you’re good at what you’re doing and they know it.”

“So, are you going to take it?” I wanted to know.

“Aye. What could possibly go wrong? I’ll have you with me and won’t have to listen to that arrogant cunt of a boss at the papers any more.”

“They kids at school aren’t any better,” I replied jokingly.


	5. Epilogue (Part 2)

We had dinner and then we walked home – to my flat. It was already getting slightly dark outside and the weak rays of the setting sun coloured parts of the sky far away in hues of orange. The temperature dropped a little more than I’d expected and a cold breeze was ruffling my hair. Malcolm noticed I was trembling a little, so he put his coat around my shoulders and wrapped his arm around my waist.

“Told ye it would get colder, love.”

“I knew you would say this,” I laughed and leaned into his side.

xxxxx

When we got to my flat he phoned them back to tell them that he accepts. I wondered if Ollie and the others knew any of this… They probably did or they were about to find out.

I was very tired – it was a long day. The exhaustion fell over me as if I had climbed the Mt. Everest. Malcolm was already in bed, reading his book when I came into my bedroom. It was half past ten. He gave me a quick smile and I crawled next to him.

“You’re really cute in those glasses,” I teased him and ran fingers through his short hair.

“Jesus fucking Christ. I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that.”

Calling him _cute_ was obviously a crime. I laughed and kissed his jaw.

“But thanks, darling,” he added.

I grinned at him and asked if he could sit up for a moment. He demanded a reason, but I didn’t give him any and kept on insisting, knowing he would give in. He did so and I put his book aside, paying attention not to close it so he could continue with reading later.

I removed his black shirt.

“Hey,” he protested but didn’t do anything to stop me. He protectively put his arms in front of his body.

“Why do you always do this,” I asked, giggling.

I grabbed his arms and moved them away to gain access to his body. I kissed his chest and moved my way down. I rested my head on the little swell of his belly that was covered with little soft chest hair.

“I don’t know. It’s just a fucking reflex.”

I remember the first time I had seen him naked – he was ashamed. We’ve had a talk about it and I made clear that there is nothing in my mind like _‘bodies of young men most girls fucking dream of’._ He had problems understanding it – and he probably never fully did, but I kept on reminding him that I loved him and his body just as it was.

“Do you think you can stay with them in one building without killing them?” I asked, smiling as I played with the soft chest hair on his belly.

“Aye,” he laughed a little and ran his fingers through my hair.

“You can keep on reading, Malcolm,” I smiled and closed my eyes.

Without looking, my hand found the open book lying on the bed and pushed it to his direction.

“You always give me the idea of cutting off a bit of my belly skin and then sell it on fucking Ebay as a pillow,” he said.

“Don’t you dare,” I giggled, “I would buy it back.”

xxxxx

I felt Malcolm’s lean fingers in my hair, gently massaging my head when I returned from the land of dreams.

“Hey, come here, love,” came a soft whisper as I opened my eyes.

I raised my head and found him smiling at me, his glasses on the bedside table. I lifted myself and he pulled me up to him. He was looking at me lovingly and brushed the strands of my hair out of my face. Then he closed the gap between us and his lips found mine. A shiver ran down my spine like as this had been for the first time. He gently sucked on my lower lip before he brushed the tip of his tongue over it. I opened my mouth and our tongues met. The sweet scent of him intoxicated my cells and his arms on my back made me feel safe. I moaned into his mouth and he rolled me gently over so that he was on top of me. He kissed me sweetly for a couple of moments. Then he nuzzled my nose and caressed my cheek with his thumb.

“You’re so beautiful, love,” he said and I kissed his pink lips once more.

“Thanks, sweetie,” I blushed.

He switched the light off and positioned himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Night, sweetheart,” he whispered and kissed my neck.

“Good night.”

xxxxx

“Seriously, though – this is quite funny,” I said as we were walking from Malc’s car to DoSAC. He was carrying a box with his stuff and I carried his and my bag with some documents.

“Yeah… Just imagine the fucking fun when we enter the door and they tell us that they were just fucking with us and that we can fucking go home,” he smirked.

I shook my head, smiling at the ground. I couldn’t really tell if it was a joke or if he was serious. Or maybe a bit of both.

xxxxx

It felt a little bit strange when we entered the building. I wondered if everything was still the same, if everything looks the same… I felt excitement and tingling in my body. I was a bit unsure though I had nothing to be ashamed of – like on the first day of school.

Everything was quite silent when we came to our workplace – like the calm before the storm.

“Heyaaa,” Malcolm greeted them cheerily with a bright smile as we approached Glenn and Ollie’s desk. It was a mocking greeting – and very entertaining for me. I was glad he was enjoying himself.

Glenn stood up, thinned his lips and nodded. It was strange and I wasn’t sure how to interpret that. Maybe an act of respect? Regret?

“Sit down, Glenn. I’m not fucking Viagra,” Malc said and Glenn did as he was told, allowing himself to smile lightly. He seemed to be glad that Malcolm is back, at least a little. God knows how Ollie treated him when had a higher post.

Then Malcolm turned to Ollie who remained sitting. He was as white as a sheet and he was looking more at the ground than at us.

“And you? How did you like my fucking job, ey? Did you enjoy taking it up the ass?”

“I’m sure you did,” I added bitingly. I just couldn’t help it.

Ollie looked at him and then at me - just briefly, and then he replied in a quiet tone, “No, I didn’t.”

Malcolm smirked and we continued on our way to his office. I didn’t pity Ollie at all. All his stupid jokes back then really got on my nerves… and then the thing with the call. No.

I closed the door behind Malcolm, who placed the box on his table, threw his jacket over the back of his chair. He wore a very skin-tight white shirt and the sight of him was very appealing.

I approached my beloved hothead and put my arms around him. He bent down and brushed his lips against mine.

Suddenly the door opened, Ollie came in and we jumped a little.

“Don’t you know you’re supposed to knock, you twat?!” Malcolm shouted and let go of me.

“Well, I… Sorry. I didn’t expect-” he stuttered, trying not to smile with a puzzled look on his face.

“Us snogging?” I interrupted him and felt a light blush creeping on my face.

“Yeah,” he replied quietly as he looked at the floor shyly.

Then Malcolm joined our conversation, “Well, even if I was alone, ye would have been supposed to fucking knock. I could have been wanking under the fucking table here,” his voice was loud as it had always been in this asylum, as I called it this building.

“Yeah,” Ollie admitted and scratched his head and I giggled.

“Look,” he continued and took a deep breath, “Malcolm, I know you you’d probably like to-”

“Rip your bollocks off, aye,” Malcolm interrupted him.

Then there was silence - Ollie had nothing to say. He didn’t apologise because he would lie… and Malcolm wouldn’t buy it anyway. Nor would I. Now, he was just afraid of the consequences.

“Listen, honey-bunny, I won’t fucking piss on you each morning when I come here nor will I fucking rape you when no one’s looking,” his voice was calm and low, “I forgive you.”

Ollie’s eyes flew open in shock as Malcolm continued, “Not because to make ye feel fucking better, but because it’s gonna be fucking easier for me. But I won’t fucking forget what you’d fucking done.”

Ollie nodded with a sign of relief on his face and I gave him a faint smile.

“So,” Ollie clasped his hands together and changed the topic to ease the atmosphere in the room, “You two are together?”

“Oh, yeah. We are,” I admitted shyly and leaned a bit into Malcolm’s side as he put his arm around my waist.

Ollie grinned at us.

“A fucking problem with that?” Malc cocked an eyebrow, a bit amused.

“No, Malcolm. No fucking problem,” he laughed a little and shook his head.

“I’ll get back to my desk,” he said before he walked out of Malcolm’s office.

I bet he had a nice, bity remark about us but then decided to better leave it. Clever choice.

“If he’s going to stare at you like this again, I’ll take his optic nerve out and strangle him with it.”

I smiled and turned to him. He cupped my face and bent down for a long, drugging kiss.

“I love ye, darling,” he whispered, his blue eyes gazing into mine.

“I love you too.”

Then he hugged me tightly and I rested my head on his chest as he rubbed my back gently. The smell of his cologne and the sound of his beating heart embraced me and reminded me that I had the privilege to be so close to him, to know him like no one else does.

In a while or two, he let go off me and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s get it going here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You very much for reading!  
> I hope you like it!


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